|By Robert Cohen Executive Director|
From White House to Farm
From D.C. to N.J. to N.Z. to Cambodia Christie Whitman retired from her post as Secretary of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) so that she could spend more time with her family. Uh, huh. So, what will she be doing for her summer vacation? New Jersey's ex-Governor will be leaving her home state for the killing fields of Cambodia to oversee their election process. Is this a new foreign exchange program in which Cambodians will come to Florida to oversee our election process? Source story Meanwhile, New Zealand dairy farmers are angry. They are making a big stink about a new government tax plan. Something smells funny "down under," and it's more than what Bessie ate for her last meal. New Zealand has imposed a flatulence tax on farm animals. Flatulence is the politically correct word for "fart." New Zealand's tax plan is incredible, but wait until you read (at the end of this column) George Bush's connection to Christie Whitman in Cambodia and New Zealand's solution to an environmental crisis. New Zealand Farmers will be paying 25 pounds ($14.63 American) for each cow and 3 pounds ($1.75 American) for each sheep as a part of New Zealand's policy to combat global warming. Methane gas from the animals' flatulence accounts for more than half of all New Zealand's greenhouse gas emissions. Huh? A flatulence tax? Now, that really smells bad! NO SMALL CHANGE At one time, the farthing was a coin used as currency in Great Britain. Wouldn't it be appropriate to recall that coinage for circulation in New Zealand to be used as payment for this new tax? A fart-thing was equal to about 1/4 of a penny. Rather than stamp the likeness of New Zealand's Prime Minister, Helen Clark, on the new coin (Helen's family owns a sheep and cattle farm), they can appropriately stamp on one side the head of a bovine, and on the obverse, the tail of an ovine. That coin may very well become the world's most prized collectible. ANTI-GLOBAL WARMING MEASURE Cows eat. Cows produce gas. Their flatulence emits methane gas. Their urine produces nitrous oxide which adds to the "Global Warming/ Greenhouse Effect." Add it all together and each one of New Zealand's nine million dairy cows produces 189 pounds of methane gas per year. More of the same occurs wherever farm animals are raised for human consumption. THE SOURCE OF METHANE Methane gas (C-H-4) makes the second biggest contribution to global warming (carbon dioxide is number 1). The digestive processes of cattle, particularly cows and sheep, is the major source of methane emissions. THE IMPACTS OF GLOBAL WARMING America's Environmental Protection Agency predicts that rising global temperatures will melt polar ice and raise sea levels, change precipitation and other local climate conditions, alter forests, decrease crop yields, threaten human health, and harm birds, fish, and many types of ecosystems. All because of cow, sheep, and pig flatulence. There are 9.15 million cows in America and over 100 million cattle. Ten billion farm animals will be slaughtered this year in America. All must eat. We human consumers must logically take responsibility for their indigestion. TAXING PROBLEM IN AMERICA TOO The 100 million American cattle each eat 80 pounds of feed per day. They collectively produce 8 billion daily pounds of body wastes. Some 280 million Americans eat 5 pounds per day of feed, and produce 1.4 billion pounds per day of body wastes. Cattle produce nearly 6 times the amount of body waste as do humans. Human waste is processed in sewage treatment plants. Cattle waste is released into America's fields and streams. Twenty billion pounds of methane gas from cattle? Sniff...sniff... And now, President Bush's connection to global warming and methane gas emissions and Whitman's trip to Cambodia. You see, Bush had no use for Christie continuing as head of EPA. Her resignation was political. He no longer wanted her on team-Bush. She did not really resign to spend time with family. That was an expedient lie told to Americans. The timing of her resignation creates a stench equal to all of the world's flatulence. Next week, the EPA will release its long awaited report on the state of the environment. The EPA report was intended to provide the first comprehensive look at the environment in 50 years. Global warming and methane gas emissions were topics of consideration. The New York Times reported (page 1, June 19, 2003) that the Bush White House has edited a "long section" of the report describing risks from "rising global temperatures." The NY Times criticized the Bush action after reviewing a copy of the yet-to-be released report. Summing up the hatchet job, the Times writer reports: "...whittled down to a few noncommittal paragraphs." On the other side of the world in Cambodia, Whitman will attempt to prove that the Penh is mightier than the sword. If asked about her lie that she resigned because she wanted to spend more time in Jersey, or if asked whether her resignation had anything to do with the censored EPA report, my prediction is that Christie will turn Khmer Rouge in the face.
Robert Cohen, author of: MILK A-Z
Executive Director (email@example.com)
Dairy Education Board
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