b) Cream cheese has been shown to be an effective decay preventative dentifrice that can be of significant value when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care.

c) Cow's milk hormones, saturated fat, and cholesterol offer enormous benefit for young children. A diet of concentrated milk products (cheese, ice cream, and butter) will insure that our subscriber base remains healthy, as will the future cash flow of physicians who read this newsletter.

b) Idiots Grow Fat

c) Icelandic Gouda's Fabulous

b) The most powerful aphrodisiac found in food.

c) The thick mucous-like substance in cow's milk proteins responsible for the profitability of the Charmin toilet paper company.

b) Begin to gag, then lose the contents of their tiny bacterial pouches, secreting their body wastes and toxins into the milk.

c) Perspire nano-liters of sweat before dying, their lifeless bodies drowning and adding subtle flavors to the milk.

b) Something that your mate will not believe you caught from a toilet seat in a public restroom.

c) The polite thing to say to a Flemish dairy farmer who sneezes liters of phlegm.

b) Design milk ads using Pokemon characters and Kermit the Frog to promote the consumption of milk for young children.

c) Neither A nor B

b) Both physicians recommended that surgical implants be considered for children suffering from ear infections.

c) Both physicians agreed that ritalin, valium, and a continuous diet of Benadryl and other anti-histamines would be an appropriate therapy to treat chronic ear infections.

b) Is a vital component of human synnovial fluid that lubricates the joints.

c) Have been identified as the key factors in "getting the juices going."

b) Be identical to naturally occurring milk.

c) Promote weight loss, reduce flatulence, and eliminate cellulite.

b) Beans, beans, NOT good for the hearty, the more you eat, the worse for the artery.

c) Whole wheat berries and barley (these large uncooked grains get stuck in arteries causing coronary thrombosis.

b) Bite the bullet.

c) Drink a twelve-ounce glass of human breast milk with your cookies.

b) Save cork stoppers from champagne bottles, and use `em when they're needed!

c) When the condition occurs, add one cup of corn starch to three tablespoons of prune juice, stir well, and use a number seven syringe to inject the paste directly into your child's stomach cavity.

b) According to the New England Journal of Medicine, listeria organisms excreted in cow's milk "escape pasteurization, grow well at refrigerator temperatures, and are ingested by consumers."

c) According to leading food journals, curing alone may not be a sufficient pathogen control step to eliminate Salmonella, listeria, and E. coli from cheese. A drop of sour milk may contain more than 50 million bacteria.

b) Investing your assets in a portfolio that includes the Pampers diaper company and Johnson's baby powder, buying a year's supply of adult stay-dries, and drinking all the milk you want.

c) Taking an antidote, lactaid, so that you may tolerate the poison, milk.

b) They witness their mothers and sisters being loaded onto packed trucks and shipped to slaughterhouses.

c) They are injected with genetically engineered hormones that swell their udders to painful proportions which require three milkings per day.

b) As a glue to hold together wood in furniture.

c) As an adhesive to attach a label to a beer bottle.

b) Osteoporosis is caused by a number of things, one of the most important being too much dietary protein. Dietary protein increases production of acid in the blood which isneutralized by calcium mobilized from the skeleton. Increasing one’s protein intake by 100% may cause calcium loss to double.

c) Data from the 12-year Harvard study of 78,000 women indicate that women consuming greater amounts of calcium from dairy foods had significantly increased risks of hip fractures, while no increase in fracture risk was observed for the same levels of calcium from nondairy sources.

b) "I just had quadruple bypass heart surgery. Please put your question in writing, and I’ll have my staff get back to you."

c) "We never realized you'd be supremely nuts to continue eating our Natural Nutty-Nuts Supreme Surprise."

b) More than 2,200 samples of cow's milk were tested in India, and 85% of the samples contained pesticides levels above human tolerance limits.

c) The pesticides chlordane and heptachlor cause cancer, harm the immune system and are endocrine disruptors. Dairy cattle in Oahu were fed pineapple leaves containing heptachlor residues. As a result, the local milk and dairy supply remained contaminated for years.

b) 75 thousand pus cells

c) 75 million pus cells

b) Those infants who died of SIDS expressed inappropriate or inflammatory responses suggesting violent allergic reactions to a foreign protein. Lung tissue and cells showed responses similar to bronchial wall inflammation in asthma.

c) Those who consumed cows milk were fourteen times more likely to die from diarrhea-related complications and four times more likely to die of pneumonia than were breast-fed babies. Intolerance and allergy to cow's milk products is a factor in sudden infant death syndrome.

b) Richard Nixon had just been presented with a compromising surveillance photo of JFK, RFK, and Marilyn Monroe sporting what appeared to be the dairy industry's first milk mustache ad.

c) President Nixon had just been given a $10 gift certificate to Dairy Queen from dairy industry representatives in the Oval Office.

b) Vitamin D is toxic in overdose. Consuming as little as 45 micrograms of Vitamin D-3 in young children has resulted in signs of overdose. Testing of 10 samples of infant formula revealed seven with more that twice the Vitamin D content reported on the label, one of which had more than four times the label amount.

c) Vitamin D increases aluminum absorption, and high aluminum levels in the body may cause an Alzheimer's-like disease.

b) About 80 percent of cows that are giving milk are pregnant and are throwing off hormones continuously. Progesterone breaks down into androgens, which have been implicated as factor in the development of acne. Hormones found in cow's milk include: Estradiol, Estriol, Progesterone, prolactin, and oxytocin.

c) The Journal of Endocrinology studied the effects of growth hormone (GH) and insulin-like growth factors (IGF-1) , alone and with androgen, on sebaceous epithelial cell growth. IGF- I was the most potent stimulus of DNA synthesis, contributing to the increase in sebum production during puberty.

b) According to the British Medical Journal, vegetarians often have lower mortality rates from several chronic degenerative diseases than do non-vegetarians. Significant athersclerosis is rare in peoples whose diet over the life span is predominantly vegetarian and low in calories, saturated fat, and cholesterol.

c) According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, vegetarian diets low in fat or saturated fat have been used successfully as part of comprehensive health programs to reverse severe coronary artery disease.