The Perfect Adult Toy For
Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza,
Ramadan, Birthdays, Anniversaries,
& Other Special Occasions
"Gather 'round, girls and boys, for yet another installment
of Kitchen Connoisseur, where everyday kitchen gadgets are
dissected just for you! But don't worry, Mistery Crytic
promises no animals have been harmed in the making of this
product review, with the possible exception of those poor
souls in our kitchen we subject to taste tests!"
So begins the review of the SoyToy in the November issue of
VEG-NEWS, America's largest circulated monthly vegetarian
newspaper. (http://www.vegnews.com) 415-665-NEWS The page 26
"Today we will shake, rattle, and roll the SoyToy (that's
spelled correctly; there is no space between 'Soy' and
'Toy'), a new appliance that claims it can produce great-
tasting homemade soymilk in minutes for just pennies a
glass. Let's see if the machine can live up to its bravado,
For starters, the manufacturer of the SoyToy, Robert Cohen,
a/k/a 'The NotMilkman,' has done his marketing homework.
Though my SoyToy arrived in a drab cardboard box, the
package tape used to seal the box read, in large emerald
letters, 'SOYTOY.' Affixed to the side of the box was a
neon-fuchsia bumper sticker advertising 'notmilk.com' with
the tag line 'FDA allows 750 million pus cells in each liter
of milk. Got nausea?' Yummy.
Inside was another box containing the SoyToy. This box was
green-and-white-and-read all over, with a picture of the
machine, photos of the various products you can make with
it, and several cartoon drawings of an animated soybean
person. Smiles abounded even before the SoyToy was unpacked.
And the machine is designed as marvelously as the packaging.
Really! It's shaped like an old-fashioned coffee pot (which
might be lost on the Starbucks crowd, ha ha ha ha ha), is
about the size of a blender, and, though solid in
construction, weighs less than six pounds. It's also
fashionable in appearance, with a clean white finish that
guarantees it won't clash with anything on the kitchen
counter, even if you are Martha Stewart (is that woman in
The machine has three principle components: the Main Unit
(ooh, I like that) which contains the motor, heating
element, and blade; the Filtering Barrel, where the soybeans
go; and The Pot, into which the first two pieces fit. It's
all very simple. Like me.
Also included is a cute 32 page booklet that explains 'The
Joy of Soymilk,' illustrates the ins and outs of the machine
and how to use it, and offers 14 pages of recipes. The
SoyToy, you see, does more than make soymilk. But, silly me,
now I'm getting ahead of myself!
By now you are probably thinking, how does it work?
Mistery Crytic tried the basic recipe first, and suggests
you do the same. It's so easy, I almost feel guilty calling
this my job! But I do love the accessories companies send
me. Anyway, all you need do is pour two quarts of water into
The Pot, place one-half cup of dried soybeans into The
Filtering Barrel and affix it to The Main Unit (isn't he a
baseball player?), and drop the latter into the former.
Everything snaps together easily, you push a button, and in
less than 30 minutes...Got Soymilk?
But is it any good? Yes! The soymilk is marvelous. I added a
little vanilla extract and some maple syrup. The result: a
delicious beverage that is light, refreshing, and not overly
processed. And unlike other machines that I have tested, the
SoyToy does not leave a noticeable 'beany' taste. An
additional benefit is purity. Have you noticed that many
commercial brands of non-dairy milks these days contain
additives, gums, stabilizers, and a whole bunch of other
stuff? Who needs it? You know what I say: the fewer
ingredients, the better. Better for your health, better for
the animals, better for the environment. That's right,
Of course, the test of any new kitchen gadget is simple: Did
you use it a second time? I've had some winners and...well,
you get the picture. Usually, ease-of-cleanup is a big
factor. SoyToy cleans up as easy as can be. All you do is
disassemble the three main parts, rinse them off, and you
are set to go again. Mistery suggests you leave the 'Toy'
handy, as you'll want to use it again and again. Know what I
Why? Because SoyToy makes more than soymilk! That's right. I
made chocolate almond milk- um um um! Just substitute
almonds for soybeans, add a little cocoa powder, and drink
Another must-do recipe is the soy 'butter.' It comes in
handy, is much healthier than margarine, and is used in many
of the other recipes I suggest you try. For example, you
just must make the soy cheese spread. It's delicious,
versatile, and makes a luscious grilled cheese sandwich. Got
sour cream? Soymilk, lemon juice, and tofu. Whipped cream?
Soymilk, soy butter, maple syrup, vanilla. With the SoyToy
and a food processor, you might never leave the kitchen!
Oh, I almost forgot. The booklet also includes recipes that
use the leftover soybean pulp, or 'okara' (no, that's not a
dirty word!) Some possibilities are hummus, burgers,
puddings, and wherever else your imagination takes you. I
added a little okara into the dough for some oatmeal cookies
I was whipping up. You have my permission to experiment."
Mistery Crytic rates appliances from one to four whisks.
Two whisks-No guarantees
Three whisks-Worth Purchase
Four whisks-Buy this product!
The SoyToy rated four whisks, with this comment:
"The SoyToy is a great addition to your healthy kitchen. It
is easy-to-use, easy-to-clean, and makes delicious dairy-
free foods and beverages. Mistery Crytic's recommendation-
Buy this Product!"
To order a SoyToy, call toll-free: 888-668-6455
Order online: http://www.SoyToy.com
Robert Cohen, author of:
Executive Director (email@example.com)
Dairy Education Board
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